While we were waiting in line to buy tickets, it was actually awkward because this guy I used to go out with was behind us. Well not really behind us but like maybe a couple of people then him and this guy. It was awkward and at first. I was freaking out because I haven’t talked like really talk to him since three years ago. It was really weird and I started sweating nervously like it helped anything at all. We stood there for so long and I just wished I could’ve gotten away. Steph told me to say hi but I insisted that I don’t since he wasn’t that kind of guy who is friends with their exes. And right after we left I started to feel bad and regretted that I didn’t say hi which is kind of weird for me. I guess it’s a feeling for anger. It isn’t obvious but actually wanted to say “Thanks a lot asshole for leaving without saying anything. I’m better off without you and I’m doing great so thanks.” But no I just couldn’t say that because it’s rude but you know we all have these feelings for vengeance. It just gets to me.

I’m glad I got that off my chest.

Frankly, I think that it’s unfair for her to overreact like that. Guy feels “guilty” and isn’t talking and is avoiding Girl2 and I. This is unfair because Girl2 and I only think of Guy as a friend and it’s not like we’re doing anything wrong. We’re just doing what friends do. We just hang out. It’s not like we’re making out or anything. I don’t think you’re supposed to feel suffocated when you’re in a relationship. You’re the one who make decisions for yourself. You’re the one who chooses your friends and not your boyfriend/girlfriend. What are they, your mom? Boyfriends/Girlfriends are supposed to support you and not tell you what to do. It’s not a game of Master-Slave thing. She could be in her best intentions and just wanted to look out for him but it’s not like we’re doing anything bad. I mean for fuck’s sake we’re just fucking friends. Jeez. And it kinda hurts because Girl1 is making it seem like it’s my fault and Girl2’s. FUCKING PISS ME OFF.

I thought things were gonna be okay. I thought that distracting myself could actually make things better and wait for the feelings to go away. I was positive that it would work. Thinking about it made me think that he’s a jerk more than ever. I don’t think it’s fair to him though, I’m saying all these things about him with him being able to explain himself but what he said a while ago hurt. I just don’t want to say it because it’s pretty bad and I don’t want to talk about it. The past few days, I’ve felt that liking him was kinda okay because he makes me smile and all that shit but after he told me what he said to me a while ago, all my feelings for him went away. A slight hatred for him grew inside of me because that was an insensitive thing to say. I kind of even loathe him now. I’m never gonna let him get to me, even if he loves Blink 182 as much as I do. Those kinds of things don’t matter. He’s still an asshole.

Maybe he hates me. Maybe that’s why he said that. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t talk to me as often as he used to.

Things at home haven’t been great the past few days. My dad and my sister got into this fight for reasons I cannot say. I mean it’s not that big of deal. I mean it is… but it’s just such a long story that I don’t think you’d be interested anyway. It’s pretty fucked up. I don’t know what my sister was thinking when she did whatever she did. And no she is not pregnant… it’s just some issue in school and it’s so weird to be between it. I just can’t say more…

But I guess it’s true, just because he likes the same bizarre-o crap that I do doesn’t mean he’s the one. I guess quoting “(500) Days of Summer” is pretty smart. And I guess I wouldn’t have wanted to go out with a shallow guy like him anyway. Just because he loves Blink 182 as much as I do doesn’t mean that he’s the perfect guy for me. Wow. It took me this long to realize that. But I guess he wasn’t like the way he used to be like he is now. It’s pretty lame that I’m only realizing this now.

So as a follow up to my previous post, I’m gonna talk about the typhoon that recently hit Manila a few days ago. The typhoon, which they (whoever “they” are) named Ondoy which is such a silly name, took lives and homes. It was so devastating watching the news and you see all these videos of people being washed away by floods. It was so sad because mostly those who died were little kids who couldn’t hang on to something I guess. There were even some siblings who were covered in mud who died holding each other. It just breaks my heart seeing people who have nothing left. They lose their homes and their loved ones. I feel lucky that I don’t live in Manila but at the same time I feel bad because I just sat there staring at the TV doing nothing about it. A good thing though is that my school is asking everyone to bring out old clothes to donate to the people. It’s pretty cool because just a day after the announcement of bringing clothes was made the next day you see this big ass box overflowing with clothes. It’s really nice to see people taking the time to go through their closets and actually donating something.

I’m seeing PJ tomorrow. I’m totally stoked. I haven’t seen him in like more than a month and I miss him so much.  I’m going to his school’s Intramurals or something which is pretty cool because I also get to see my other friends who I haven’t seen in so long. I just wish I won’t deal with any drama tomorrow considering I’m seeing people who I have issues with *rolls eyes*.

So I don’t really know what to say or anything because im just so bored right now and telling you guys how bored I am. Yes, because blogs are for expressing how bored you are. Anyway, I’m just gonna go watch another South Park episode :p

See ya ;)